Shootin' The Shit
by LordryuTJ
Summary: A lunatic champion, a blue-haired rebel and their time-rewinding cameragirl get together to discuss the good and the bad of the world. Heavily inspired by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever's RantBusters and the SmarkBusters that inspired him. Requests for topics are open.
1. Who We Are and Why We're Here

" **Shootin' The Shit"**

 **Rated M for much explicit language, bits of drug use here and there, and a couple other suggestive things.**

 _ **All thanks to the people at WWE and Dontnod Entertainment (and to a lesser extent, Square Enix) for the characters they've created, as well as my friend UltimateWarriorFan4Ever, as this is inspired by the RantBusters, which in turn is inspired by the SmarkBusters from YouTube.**_

 _ **Warnings: potential out-of-character moments (although not really that likely in the long run given the characters), probably a spoiler or two for one of the franchises involved.**_

* * *

The first sight once the camera was on was a bedroom that was easily visible through several lamps and lights turned on. Curtains that have been designed to look like the American flag could be faintly seen in the left side of where the camera was pointing, pushed off to the left and leaving half of a window visible. It was clear that this was being recorded in the middle of the night, since through the window is nothing but black and dark blue colors.

Laying on the bed in the center of the camera's point of view was a young woman, attired in a blackish-brown jacket, white tanktop underneath, a tattoo of sorts that could be slightly visible under the right sleeve of her jacket, and a pair of vaguely untidy jeans. Her cyan-blue hair could be faintly seen under a black beanie, as she stared at the ceiling, toking on a presumably-homemade joint of some kind of weed and blowing smoke into the air.

Still looking up towards the roof of the room, she asked out loud. "Is it on yet?"

"Yeah, it's—it's on." A voice, another young gal's, spoke up behind the camera, as it was slightly adjusted, causing a brief wobble and shake.

"Alright, cool." The woman in center sat up, crossing her legs as she looked towards the left. "Dude, come on, the camera's already rolling!"

"Oh shit..." A third voice, a man very far off in the distance, could be faintly heard.

Footsteps growing louder as he entered the room, the man in question sits down next to the blue-haired lad. His fairly messy hairdo was very noticeable, alongside the slightly shiny, completely unzipped leather jacket, the jeans that looked in similar condition to his co-host, and the black shirt underneath that had a modified version of the infamous 'anarchy' symbol placed in center, where it could be seen underneath the unzipped jacket.

"Sorry 'bout that." He apologized quickly as he sat down. His face then scrunched up as he waved off the smells in front of his face. "Whew... smells like Woodstock in here."

The blue-nette held back some laughter. " _Shut up_..."

"Anyways..." The untidy guy shifted around, getting comfortable in his seat on the bed. He then waved to the camera. "Hello, people of the internet. In case you don't know, I'm the Lunatic Fringe, Dean Ambrose..."

"And I'm Chloe Price..."

"And welcome to a little show we're doing called _Shootin' The Shit._ " Ambrose continued.

Chloe explained, "Basically, what this show is about is simple: we talk about one random topic... and... that's pretty much it."

"That's going to be the easy part of this show." Dean pointed out. "At this point, the only tough part of getting this started was getting all the equipment together."

Chloe followed up. "But now that we got everything set up: the computer to upload, the camera to record us speaking our minds on anything, thanks to my best friend, miss Max Caulfield – wave to the camera for us, Maximus..."

An arm coming off the left side of the screen comes in as Max, working as the camera-girl of this show, waves to the people viewing. Chloe nods as she continues.

"...we now have the power to express our freedom of speech through this show."

Dean then suddenly alerted. "But just a heads up... it's not likely that everything will be discussed on this show. Either because it's too dull a topic, too complicated to talk about, or just... creeping a few miles too far. There's some shit that we might have cold feet in shootin' the shit about, maybe the darkest of the dark bullshit. That's probably a no for us."

"Also Ghostbusters," Chloe specified. "because let's face it, whenever it's mentioned these days, _no one wins_ in the end _._ "

"Yeah, amen. ...Now the reason why we're doing this is also very simple." Dean began to discuss, in full detail. "In the wake of things like the SmarkBusters, the RantBusters, Doofen-whatshisname's Daily Dirt or whatever, that 'Grind My Gears' thing from _Family Guy_ , and that one show that that bird and that raccoon were doing, we've decided to pitch in our two cents to join in on the fun. I mean, who knew you could get so popular off just sitting around and talking about stuff?"

Chloe reclined as she spoke. "And that's pretty much the thick of it. All we need to find out at this point as what you guys want us to talk about."

Dean pointed down. "Just drop your reviews, your likes, your comments, your feedback or ...whatever, and we'll keep in touch. Later."

Chloe smirked as she brought up an elusive middle-finger salute to the camera. "Peace, bitches."

* * *

 **This sort of idea I wasn't thinking about for a while, more so that I was thinking about it for about a day or two before I got down to business on actually writing it.**

 **Now in case you're wondering why I decided on Dean and Chloe as the hosts, when they're coming from two different franchises, it's... I dunno, they seem like they could click as a duo; they're both rebellious and are fun to be with to an extent. I mean, _RantBusters_ was done with an Equestria Girls character and a Phineas and Ferb character, and that's an interesting combination. Besides, it seems like a good idea in the long run, especially since both pro-wrestling and _Life is Strange_ have popular fandom on this site.**

 **Well, until next time...**


	2. Ed, Edd n' Eddy

_**Topic #1  
** **Ed, Edd n' Eddy**_

* * *

Unlike the previous recording session, this one seemed to be taking place somewhere in the middle of the morning, as the sunlight outside beamed in and illuminated the entire room.

Chloe was no longer wearing the jacket from the other night, leaving the tattoo of various colors ( _mostly red_ ) on her right arm and shoulder completely visible to the camera. In her lap was an open laptop, as she was browsing through something, sitting down on the bed with legs crossed.

She didn't bother to make eye contact with the camera as she spoke. Clearly she was busy looking through something on the computer resting on her legs. "So, uh, welcome back, everyone. Hope you all had a... had a _hella fuckin' awesome night_ last night, with our first upload..."

At first, Dean was nowhere to be seen where the camera was pointing, but he slowly reappeared into view, having removed his jacket as well, as well as holding a cold beer in one hand. Must be a hot day or something.

Chloe turned towards the camera as she continued. "Sorry we're all not really completely prepared, we're just... lookin' through the comments for the video we put out last night. To put it out there as straight as possible, so far we only have _one_ to look over so far."

Dean shrugged, having sat down on the bed. "...Okay then. That... kinda sucks a little."

Chloe also shrugged a little herself. "I mean, we kinda expected more since there's a lot of these fuckin' ranting shows going on right now, but... I guess we'll stick with whatever."

* * *

There was a brief jump cut, and now it seemed that Dean and Chloe have gotten ready to discuss their first topic.

Dean brought his hands together with a faint clap, beer can sitting on the floor near him. "Alright, so... the first topic we got for this show was one that was honestly an amusing one. For those of you who are currently or used to be fans of Cartoon Network, strap in, because we're heading back to the early years of the new millennium for this one."

Chloe announced, chin resting on hand. "Today, we're talkin' about a weird little show about a shitty little cul-de-sac in the middle of god-knows-where, called _Ed, Edd n' Eddy_."

Dean then began to discuss the show's plot. "To make a long story short, it's about a trio of friends who try to make money off the other kids in probably some of the most stupidly awesome ways. ...Don't worry, it's crazier in the outcome than you'd probably expect."

He continued, "The three of these guys, the guys that the show is named after, have their own goofy little personality. First, there's Eddy, who was obviously the leader of the group, and he _loves_ money. Emphasis on _loves_. Like, _Ted DiBiase_ levels or some shit. Without him, the show would probably have a different plot."

"Then there's Edd, who's called Double D about 99% of the time because we already have an Ed, and he's some type of boy-genius nerdy guy." Chloe said.

"Also the most over-organized guy in that neighborhood. I'm talkin' labeling almost _everything._ " Ambrose noted, nearly cutting off his co-host for a second there.

Chloe continued, eventually having to keep some laughter inside, "And he has a weird hat on his head that just... _*snort* ..._ just looks like a fuckin' garbage bag, and we don't know why he always has it on."

Then back to Dean. "And lastly we have Ed, who... is basically Ryback if he got a bit skinnier, and had even _less_ of a brain... or just had _no_ brain in general. After that, there's the rest of the kids, like the asshole with the bike, the kid whose friend is literally a piece of wood, that one kid who broke his teeth, the weirdo from the world's most absurd fictional country, Ed's angry little sister, and... the blonde girl." There was a beat of silence, before he shrugged. "That's her quirk, she's just blonde. I dunno what else to say about her, besides that I think she likes the biker guy."

Chloe scooched back a bit, needing some room to take a drag off her little joint of grass. After Dean finished talking, she carried on for him. "And then there's those three asshole sisters, who I'm pretty sure would be thrown the fuck to jail or some shit for stalking and pretty much raping the shit out of the Eds. Creepy little fuckers didn't know when to quit, didn't they?"

"Yeah, even I'd probably need therapy if I had to deal with them on more than one case, and when it gets to that point... _hooh-boy_." Ambrose stated, afterwards taking a drink from his beer. "Y'know, the more we look back at this show, the more it feels like one of the wildest cartoons that early 2000s Cartoon Network had to offer... _in_ both good and bad ways."

"Wild enough to last six seasons." Chloe nodded.

"Six seasons and a movie, no less..." Dean added on to the statement, making a bit of a reference to something along the way. "At its time, it was one of Cartoon Network's best; nowadays, there's a lot more options for fun cartoons, if not some being a little more awesomely-dumb than others, but you still have the option to enjoy this little piece of the past. I mean, there's some fucked up stuff that kids didn't realize until they grew up, and the lack of somethings like parents and school in the first few seasons _is_ a bit fucked up, but... come on, it's a cartoon, they can do whatever in that kind of world."

"Crazy shit's crazy, but we recommend it all the way." Chloe said, exhaling a little bit of weed smoke upon opening her mouth. "If you enjoyed this first topic, that's totes amaze-balls, thank you so fuckin' much, and feel free to throw some more into the pot for us to talk about. We'll be back at ya next time, but first... ***quick exhale*** I need to grab myself a cold one..."

The blue-head exited stage-left, leaving Dean alone on the bed for a moment. He blankly stared at the camera for a moment, in a beat of dead air, although it was clear who he was staring at, beyond the camera.

"Uh... Max?" He awkwardly spoke up. "Think we're done for recording toda-"

Cut to black.

* * *

 **Okay, _maybe_ there's more than one review on the story right now at this point, but whatever.**

 **See you next time.**


	3. Conor McGregor versus The World

_**Topic #2  
** **Conor McGregor vs. The World**_

* * *

For the third time of this series, it was back to the bed.

Dean Ambrose sat down on the usual spot of the bed, to the right of his co-host, and to the left of the camera, although this time, his hands were buried into his face with a double facepalm.

The other half, Chloe Price, was laying down on her half of the bed, looking up to the ceiling and smoking dope. From there, it was usual Chloe behavior, except she didn't look quite happy herself. Different emotional output from how she usually was when smoking up the joint.

It was clear something bad was coursing through both of their minds.

"So..." Dean began. "...if you've been hanging around social media, especially with WWE and UFC, in the past week... you might have seen a few... well, a few shitty things along the way."

He continued, "Of course, the main thing we'll have to discuss in this episode... is an odd little Irishman by the name Conor McGregor."

The name of that man being mentioned emitted a _very_ irritated groan from Chloe as she stayed put, lying down on the bed.

Dean said, "In—in a nutshell, he's kinda goin' off on practically everyone, especially guys in the wrestling biz, myself included. This episode is going to be a heads-up to whoever encounters him in the quote-unquote 'magical' world of social media. This episode, we have some advice to those who _want_ to retaliate against him."

He turned towards Chloe, to try and signal her to speak on this along with him.

However, she didn't seem like she wanted to sit back up. She stayed put as she spoke. "You go ahead."

"You sure?"

"Trust me; you'd be afraid of what I would have to say to Conor."

Then Ambrose looked towards the camera in front of him. There is a slight bit of movement on the camera recording them, an implication of a shrug from Max holding it.

With that, the man labeled as the Lunatic Fringe continued. "Alright, so... you only need to do one thing against this guy if he talks shit in your direction: _nothing._ Even when I'd hate to admit it, people like are right about what's he's doing; he's _kinda_ hungry for attention. Well... maybe that's an understatement. With that, and the press conference yesterday, he's going all over the place. The best idea to combat his unpredictability in terms to speaking his mind is not to combat it... unless you're willing to have metaphorical bottles of water and energy drinks thrown at you. That's pretty much all you need to do. All this crazy shit is gonna go away eventually... you just need to play the waiting game, hope that he calms down in the near future."

Finishing up, Ambrose ended with this. "And that's all we have – well, _I_ have to say. Like, favorite, comment, whatever. Fuck Jersey Shore."

The sign off finished with him flipping off the camera, before looking towards Chloe.

"...Alright, so why the fuck didn't you want to say anything?" He asked the blue-nette. "He rub you the wrong way or somethin'?

"He blocked me on Twitter." Chloe responded.

Dean took a moment to get that through his mind, before a response came out. "Wait, that's it?"

Chloe explained, "Well, I kinda called him a 'hella dumb pussy' after he called you guys pussies."

Another pause from Dean, before he closed his eyes and lightly nodded in an understanding "...That... seems a little fair. Can see why you got pissed off..."

With that, the camera turned off.

* * *

 **So I decided to speak on something very recent. This was a few days in the making. Stuff like the crazy ending to that UFC 202 conference helped fuel the crazy shit happening with McGregor. Hopefully things turn out okay in the long run for him and the guys he's potentially hurt.**

 **Until next time.**


	4. CM Punk's UFC Debut

_**Topic #3  
** **CM Punk's UFC Debut**_

* * *

Dean Ambrose waved hello to the camera in the first second of this, sitting in the middle of the bed. One could probably see his WWE SmackDown-branded World Championship sitting around in the background of the room.

"Welcome back, everyone," Dean said, "to another episode of _Shootin' The Shit_. So today, we're back again for another little riff on current events goin' on within the week."

Behind Ambrose, Chloe could be seen in the near-background of the room, reclining on the bed with a cigarette in hand, just chillin'.

Ambrose started, slightly tapping on the edge of the bed with a half-open right hand. "So... you guys know about CM Punk, right? … The guy with tattoos all over, doesn't drink, doesn't dope... has the beard of a hobo now? ... If you don't, then in case you're wondering... after a final WWE appearance having him chokeslammed through a table and then just plain leaving, he took his talents to, of all places, the UFC, which is almost a polar opposite in a buncha' ways."

Dean leans back a little as he continues. "Where people like Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley can thrive in the squared-circle, but in the Octagon, they can get wrecked just as hard as almost everyone else in there. Also, there's a lot of weight limits, so there's no Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather kinds of fights. That and there's no worries about being too small for the company to consider you one of the most legitimate threats to a title; just look at Conor McGregor – someone I think we talked about last time, last month."

Before speaking on, Dean briefly looked back at his co-host in , almost as if he wants to know if she wanted to speak on a little bit of this. She simply shrugged in silence, wanting to peacefully smoke.

At this point, it was probably just left to Ambrose alone to discuss the topic of this episode; he was most definitely the most experienced person in the room, being a wrestler himself.

"So, um," he slightly stuttered as he went on, "on the subject of Punk – haven't decided how fitting that name is after he bailed on WWE – after two years of hype, appearances in video games before his first match, and Eva Marie-style delays on his fights, the 'Straight-Edge Ultimate Fighter' – probably only quoted by Punk himself and/or his wife – entered the Octagon for his first-ever UFC fight, against some guy named... Mikey Gall, was it?"

"It's _Mickey_ Gall." Chloe corrected him.

And Ambrose nodded briefly. " _Yeahyeahyeah_ , whatever, some guy I don't really give a shit about – I don't really watch UFC. _Anyways_ , last night, Punk got into the cage with that guy. So what happened next? ... _Heeee_ got choked out. In two minutes. Chloe and I both watched it, and it really hit the shitter at that point."

"It was hella fucked, just wanna put it out there." The blue-haired juvenile commented.

"Yyy _eah_. So right after that, people online came to us wanting our thoughts." Ambrose mentioned. "Honestly, we weren't watching just to see him suffer, we just wanted to see how he could handle himself in one of the most legitimate fighting sports around. _Real_ fighting, I mean, not that whole weird E-Sports Street Fighter shit. Surprisingly, he went down harder than we predicted. _Then again,_ if I recall, Brock Lesnar had a couple fights in the UFC where he got rocked to shit pretty quickly, so I can't really blame Punk for goin' down so hard."

Chloe nodded, puffing smoke out into the air. "Preach, brotha..."

Back to Ambrose, "What I can say for Punk at this point is... at least he's still a pretty hard-to-top guy on the microphone... probably the best idea at this point is to go back to square one, train harder, keep your head in check, and hope for the best next time. ... _if_ there is a next time, which I think I can say for the both of us that it's quite possible that next time is somewhere down the line, instead of him crawling back to WWE, which I kinda don't want him to. Just come back if you feel like it, or maybe stop by Ring of Honor or New Japan if you still hate us, man. Your choice. And that's pretty much it for this episode, but, uh..."

Ambrose then leaned back a little further, looking back at Chloe one more time. "Yo, Chlo, you got any extra advice before we sign off?"

She looked towards the camera, slightly unprepared to answer. "Uh... don't get choked out next time?"

"Good enough." Ambrose was trying to hold his chuckles as he leaned towards the camera to stop the recording.

* * *

 **Almost month-long periods between chapters that are at most somewhere within 1 thousand words are probably what you can expect from a story like this, which is pretty much a part-time thing while I work on Tournament of Fate (at the time this chapter is let out). Be sure to favorite and/or follow this story if you wanna see more, and suggest any ideas in the review box if you have any.**

 **Until next time.**


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